Reflections

The first day I walked him down
the nameless street, under the moonless sky.
The kissing breeze of the night brought the word
of a thousand wounds and a million cries.

The stars giggled, impishly here
leaping somewhere, our minds gamboled.
The rustling leaves had hummed a hundred songs
set in a rhythm so familiar so cold.

Some other day we sat by the lake
dropping pebbles watching them disappear
like the velvet waves so calm and grim
that battle the night's wrath and fear.

The tiny drop of tear shed by the grass,
was long forgotten, on the endless slopes
of hills so tame, on the wings so wild,
of winds that bear a hope.

In the days of love, we sat on the park bench
talking away the silence, hand in hand, heart to heart.
the soft caress of her hand through our hair
cried a promise, never to set us apart.

Yesterday, I was sitting on my back porch
recounting what I gathered and what I gave.
Trapped alone in this body, I sleep now
living the Death I lived, awaiting to find myself.

Rose

The day I lay awake to see the starlit sky,
The refulgent moon was shying away
For a moment those tears came flooding by
And washed all the pains away.

A gem in the diadem of Princess Love
A sparkling spring of fleeting course,
A smile that healed all mortal wounds
Yes, she was my Rose, she was my Rose.

A vision she was, or an illusion to say
In a song she was to dwell,
Seeds of reason were sown to bloom
Until darkness befell.

In her love I believed and in trust I did
My heart lay open in her eyes,
All I wanted was a little dearness
My friend, not your doubt and despise.

She now dwells amidst the stars
Twinkling here and shining there,
Above the throes of mortal minds
She had been there

The last drop of dew has now fallen down
All the clouds have cried their heart,
The autumn wind has blown through the trees
And swept the fallen leaves apart.

The light of the stars still shines above
The water in the stream still runs by,
I am left alone to lie awake
But the light of love still shines in her eyes...

Loneliness

I talk to myself these days. It's become such an ordeal to reach for my cell-phone lying just across and dial the first entry in my phonebook. I know the call will not be answered. It used to be earlier; not now, certainly not. The long hours of the day seem to breathe venom in my skin. The ticking of the clock has begun counting the last remaining moments of my life away. The opaque blue outside the window has hung over me and inside there is tranquillity. A silence thats become almost a din now. From some place unseen, from some age unlived, I hear a voice so familiar, yet so clandestine. I generally give up in the nugatory attempts to recognize that voice. I don't care anyway, anymore....

The other day i walked down the spiral and found myself staring at the tesselated past that i had almost forgotten. The heap of clothes lay by my bed side, unminded for ages. They were all her clothes which she didn't take along. She was dressed in a white raiment, and oh yes, flowers, lots of them, roses, violets, lillies, mud, tears, death. She died right here, on this very bed she breathed her last. I was there, trying to snatch her away from the obvious, comforting her, consoling myself. Peace ruled her dead heart. I don't even cry these days. Perhaps I still do, I'm not sure. She had taught me how to feel.

The voice in my ears has faded down. Maybe she tried and failed yet again. How I wish I could tell her how much I loved her. Now it hardly matters, i think. Its just one more day down. I am growing impatient to meet her again. Her soft touch is caressing me to fall.....asleep.

Sihaya...

the moon shines upon her silver face
the stars light up her brow
clad in a raiment of golden threads
she fills the lakes with her glow
the soft touch of her velvet hands
causes the blossoms to spring
from the dulcet sound of her passing feet
the nightingales learnt to sing

oft in the woods she sings alone
treads on the path of golden grass
all the beasts hearken her sing
and behold her passing till their last
she fills the hearts of Men with love
and mirth unending she lends
the fragrance of her breath fill the earth
and gladdens the heavens above

the sun takes his fire from her
and winds, their speed
the waters she fills with a calm unkown
and gushing tumult at need
she runs in the waters through the veins of the Earth
and dwells in the breath of the birds that fly
her tears heal the wounds of death
blessed are those who see her pass by

i met her in a dream that befell on me
a dream that has last so long
darkness of my heart she heals away
and lives in me as a song
Desert Spring, i call thee Sihaya
i see you walk with me amidst the sands
Never ever leave my side my love
for thou art the one that binds me to these lands.

awaken the dead...

deep beneath the ground he lies in silence undisturbed
closing his eyes upon the mortal world
forever he longed to live the life he wanted to
for he never thought, his world would be dead cold.

i came into being as a child immature
innocence pouring out from my eyes and touch
the sun seemed to shine bright and the skies azure
forever seemed my mirth to last as such.

years rolled on quietly, days sped past
moments of loneliness crept by etching their path in my mind
often i screamed at naught in despair
the innocent eyes had become blind.

I supressed my anger, filled with rage
never did I let out a word of despair
i bore the pain with a smile on my face
i went on to become Judas the fair

i walked on waters and swam in fires
dazedly gazing at the skies though i couldn't see nothing, absolutely nothing
i see everything now with my new eyes.

rise! oh father, my father
thou were the one, my belief
for i never thought thee will leave thy slave
drowning in a pool of grief.

i stand at your grave tonight
the sky cries with me
tears from hell above splash on your tombstone
washing away the dirt as i see.

i wanted to believe in you, my Master
for all that you did for me to see
you gave away your sight, and embraced darkness
i had to do what i did, for you did not trust me.

today as i hold the same dagger in my hand
i smell thy sweet blood on it
i held thy heart close to mine
but a few moments ago, i devoured it.

the moon shines full in the velvet sky
i hear the howls that seem near and yet so far
i hate you for whatever you turned me into
a Werewolf's father, dead in grave, dead as a star...

The Beginning To The End..

The Beginning...

He said,"Let there be light", and there was darkness, loud and still. He said,"Let
there be life", and there was death moving careless and wild. The blob of molten fire
was slowly and steadily taking shape, when the air parted and a thunderous bolt of
lightening struck. He did not know that His dream would never come true. He raised Himself from
His high throne and bellowed to all the demi-Gods that were sent to shape up a chunk of rock into a thing
that His creations would later come to call their home. The Earth slept in darkness deep and the eternal
vision blurred. He was the God that failed and he wept bitterly. The tears rolled down the etheral planes
and quenched the parched earth. The fires subdued and an opaque mist crawled upon the surface for eons.
A slithering blob of protoplasm swam the waters unknown. It called itself the product of Genesis.
It saw Him weeping. The sky was clouded and drops of heavy black water poured down mercilessly.
It rose up and said to Him,"Oh! Dear God. What have you done?? Was this your vision, your dream??
I bet, hell no. Then why have you created me?? A-me-ba'? Look at me. What do i have? Am i the outcome of your
selfish desire to prove that you are God?? I shall not be the way you have created me. I swim in loneliness.
Do you know how it feels to be lonely?? Do you feel in the first place?? I shall create the world of my own.
I shall reveal your selfish desire to all the creations that are to come. They shall evolve from me. My children would be called Humans"


I am the failed product, of a failed Genesis. I am YOU.

The End...

I'm down and under... I can't see in this ever blinding mist of helplessness
that surrounds me. I tried to rise above the sufferings, but they had the better of me always.
I tried to unfetter, but the chains of loneliness had me bound. The more i tried to free myself,
the more i got entangled. No, i am not trying to gain your sympathy. I hate sympathy and those who offer it.
It is just a phase of my life, and i know that it will pass away. Probably, it is one of the best times
that i am going through. Today, i know what it is to feel lonely. I value the pain that i am going through.
I cant really pinpoint at the origin of it. But it is engulfing me like a dark shadow. At one moment
i was staring at the darkness, and Oh! it hurt. I am trasnforming into something that i cant define.
It was in the morning that i noticed, that i have stopped breathing. I did not feel uneasy, quite unlikely.
I have lost my skeletal structure. I dont think i can hear. The cyst around my cell-body really restricts
my movements. I can only feel. I think that also will be lost soon. And Oh! I remember. I remember
everything, from the day i came into existence. And now i have nothing more to remember. Cause from now
i shall cease to exist as a human. I am retro-transforming to the same primordial form from which i once emerged.


Now, i have only one refuge, and that is oblivion. Ironically, i am here for the world to know.